But then I started thinking...
Me winning big means I am not doing enough for others because as a good tactical player, I want that for others too. When I can't get others up to my level, I start feeling like I am not spending enough time with them, teaching them the ropes. This is not true with the Norwalk leauge, well actually, maybe it is to a degree. Anthony started selling his blasters, his great blasters, my favorite modder, because he does not have room, why didn't he just ask me to store them! I would have! But no, I am a fucking lacky! Another favorite modder, Kyle, closer friend, hasn't seen me in 2 or so weeks since my life is so crazy and there it is, all those hard feelings, self pity, starts adding up!
Even harder when I go to a meet and win every round but the last round, Gunslinger heaven. Yes I won all 3, but the last round I was like "WHAT! DID I WIN AGAIN, FUCK!" (goddamn me to hell, fuck I need to do better). No not me do better, I didn't give a shit that I won, I menat "me" do better teaching these kids to ace other opponents!
What I am saying is that it is not all about winning, it's about making our fair sport better and please sign this, Hasbro needs to go down a few pegs!