Sunday, July 28, 2013

I Remember....

....When I started playing Nerf and all I wanted to do was win and then...I started winning big, liked the attention from people I beat, shook the hands as a good sport when I lost because the ones who did win won by clever tactics, excellent gameplay and/or a great level of skill.

But then I started thinking...

Me winning big means I am not doing enough for others because as a good tactical player, I want that for others too.  When I can't get others up to my level, I start feeling like I am not spending enough time with them, teaching them the ropes.  This is not true with the Norwalk leauge, well actually, maybe it is to a degree.  Anthony started selling his blasters, his great blasters, my favorite modder, because he does not have room, why didn't he just ask me to store them!  I would have!  But no, I am a fucking lacky!  Another favorite modder, Kyle, closer friend, hasn't seen me in 2 or so weeks since my life is so crazy and there it is, all those hard feelings, self pity, starts adding up!

Even harder when I go to a meet and win every round but the last round, Gunslinger heaven.  Yes I won all 3, but the last round I was like "WHAT! DID I WIN AGAIN, FUCK!" (goddamn me to hell, fuck I need to do better).  No not me do better, I didn't give a shit that I won, I menat "me" do better teaching these kids to ace other opponents!

What I am saying is that it is not all about winning, it's about making our fair sport better and please sign this, Hasbro needs to go down a few pegs!


Wednesday, July 17, 2013


I made it though 2013 HvZ untagged and with my 3x5 card intact.   I waited for this moment, that came sooner than I thought, walking out of an HvZ game unscaved.  I thought it would take years! No it came at my 2nd game, but it didn't feel as great as I had hoped.

Since the admins were "sneaky sneaky sir" we all died.  I was like "to hell if we lose or win, I will help the humans win, but i just want the satisfaction of the zeds could not get me."  So you can imagine, I was like "ok, nobody tagged me, but we lost."  I felt better when I got 39 kills in one game.  Definitely progress, but still....

I used to hate this game, and now all the sudden I am wraped up in it like "The Dark Side Of The Rainbow" which is just something I thought Gary Busey talked about when he was so short on pot he smoked the resin out of his pipe to get high and drank Vodka and GHB together to get "properly crossfaded."

After 3 days of being happy, I felt as useless as a croissant being used as a Dildo,

it's serious now ; )

...So if the organizers wanna change stipulations during the match to unconditionally kill the humans, I feel the drug culture should be represented as well. So next time this winter, I am showing up in a 1969 Pontiac GTO, with a case of every drug known to man in the trunk, a gang of Wild Turkey 101, a quart of Rum and 3 dozen amyls.  With enough stinkbombs, Cherry Bombs, firecrackers and 161 DB loudhorns and if things get real ugly I'll pull out a fire hose and start a protest, even if only just imagined in my head and not really happening.

At this point, fried on drugs I would be like "who won, maybe nobody" and then I would jet to Vegas, drunk, stoned, Ripped, twisted!  Go to lake Mead, rent a cigarette boat frying on LSD-25 and curse the bastard who put the Hover Dam there!

Ok ok, so maybe not, But I know I am making the GTO, triple barreled Rapidstrike powered on enough lithium batteries to start a semi-truck and fire so fast, there will be so many darts flying, they won't even be able to tell who shot them!

All in good humor!


Monday, July 8, 2013

A Must Read From An HvZ Leader.

Without further adue, I turn my blog over to the champ, lovely lady, little fighter and good friend Ferris McIntyre, who will be fighting with me at Camarillo HvZ this Saturday and 9 am and the 21st at 9 am @ Mission Verde Park (also known as Mission Oaks Park), see you there!

4 Leadership and Just Survival Tips for Summer HVZ

1 Stay mobile
     Above all I try to stay mobile during a game. If you don't keep moving zombies are more likely to find you or discover a weak point in your defense. While staying in motion, a player is more likely to find other players, and create a harder target for zombies. Also more often than not, darts and other random supplies can be found on the ground.
      The only requirements for this tip is to be physically fit and prepared for a long HVZ game. Although it is also a good idea to travel light during the game so you can keep up your stamina. For someone as slow a runner as I am, I know to train yourself beforehand and to stay focused on your breathing while running are some of the best ways to prepare for that aspect of the game.
     Another aspect to keep in mind is that you are only as fast as your team. If someone goes ahead, they are more likely to get separated and numbers really save the humans in the end. Teams that stay together in a formation know their weak points, and have all the jobs covered by someone. It is the job of the team leader to make sure their team has the right amount of distance for the right situation. Even though it is not some set amount because the game is always changing, but more on that later.

2 Stay alert and Focused
     Throughout the game, there may be points of boredom or at least a pause from the action. Do not let this fool you. I repeat. DO NOT LET THIS FOOL YOU. On multiple occasions I have let my guard down while just walking around only to be caught with my gun dropped and no socks in sight. If this does ever happen to you, my best advise is to run like hell and warn your buddies (who were smartly farther back) so they can cover you. Staying alert while focused on your goal will make you the unofficial "team leader" most of the time, simply because you are calling out ideas to people who need some direction or warning others of things they haven't seen that could be helpful. Calls like this earn you attention, and hopefully it is positive for your side. Whether they are good ideas or not makes your unassigned "team leader" chances or breaks them. I know I ran my team into trouble on more than one occasion and am sorry for that, even if we made it out mostly alive. There is no perfect way to play the game but by staying focused on your goal, and finding the smartest way to stay alive, you will be a much tougher player.

3 Be Versatile
     The hardest part of HVZ is the constant change. There are surprises, there are accidents, there are major screw ups, and yes there are random malfunctions that could get you killed. The back up plans fail, and you must adapt to survive; thinking quick on your feet is a must. Leaders have to think even faster because orders must be called out in time to save their squad. There are no preparations, just a gut feeling you have with a small prayer for good luck followed by a war cry. Besides the make or break calls, team leaders have to know their players, and be open to new ones. Most HVZ squads mix up into random groups and some players run around the whole day bouncing from group to group. But I find if you are leading, (and are not getting everyone killed) people will follow.
     Another good way to stay on your toes is to listen to their ideas. In a moment of down time try to get as many ideas from your teammates as possible, so you can help each other. The more minds working for the same thing the better.

4 Go for it.
     Last but most certainly not least, remember, you are there to enjoy a game. This game is only slightly more elaborate than playground tag. Don't jump too deep into it so you get mad at every mistake. Laugh it off, keep a good attitude and others will do the same around you. So, when you have a tough play at the end of the day, one of those suicide missions, smile and rally the team of the final survivors, then just go for it. Play the last mission you play simply because you love the game, win or lose.  If you don't mind what side you are on then you can have more fun and take more risks. This makes for a more exciting game and some great memories. I know every year a friend of mine always makes a huge death scene when he dies. Charging twenty zombies at once and taking out as many as he can so his team might have a better shot of making it. Other people make mad dashes around the horde for a distraction and somehow make it out alive. It's the crazy stunts like this that are the most memorable and the best part of the game.

     So to wrap it up, keep running, play smart, do what you think is right, and most importantly; if you die, come back with a vengeance! Good luck to all who play the summer 2013 camarillo game!

Thank you Ferris,